daveholmes:
“Why” from Tick, Tick…BOOM.
I saw Jonathan Larson’s Tick Tick BOOM off-Broadway probably ten years ago, and this song just killed me. It hit so simply, so guilelessly how one becomes a person who writes or acts or makes things up on stage- or how I did, anyway- that I audibly sobbed through the entire thing. Like, audibly audibly. Like, making-a-spectacle-of-myself audibly. Also, it was being sung by Joey McIntyre, because otherwise the moment would not have emasculated me enough.
Anyway, it just came up on my drive home from a particularly strenuous spin class and run, and I boo-hoo’d like an infant again, this time in traffic. And it felt fucking great.
I am a ridiculous dork, and I am so grateful to be in a place where that’s a job skill. I hope you’re all pursuing what makes you the happiest. Carve out 20 minutes a day for it if you aren’t. Trust me. What a way to spend a day.
Read what Dave wrote, listen to the song, let it sink in.
I myself listened to it over and over tonight, and then that lead to listening to a few other choice Broadway tunes (“Seasons of Love” from Rent, “Journey On” from Ragtime, “My Blanket and Me” and “Happiness” from You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown), and invariably, listening to “Why” again. And again.
We all, those of us pursuing our dreams, or those of us living them, or those of us trying, or those of us who tried, or those who wanted to years ago on some stage, have those thoughts and feelings and memories and inclinations, of wanting to perform in some manner in some way for some body.
You sang in choir, you acted in plays, you were in band, you wrote for the paper, you did debate, you made movies, you did something that has no actual merit on civilization except that it was fun and entertaining, both to you and an audience.
Sometimes the point is lost, in the Entertainment Industry, to entertain. It’s about making money, or earning ratings, or just staying alive. Sacrificing artistic integrity (or, hell, just the regular kind of integrity) to make a buck or raise a point in the demos. You work on a show because it’s a job, not because it’s fun. Because you need to pay rent and you need to pay the bills and you need to make enough money to buy a PBR at the end of the day so you don’t go fucking crazy.
We have all been there, some of us stay there, some of us just frequent that place.
And it eats away at you, if you’re not careful, and it turns you into a bitter, unhappy person, and we get disappointed with ourselves and our lives. We lose sight of the reason why we got on stage in the first place.
That moment.
We all came from that moment, somewhere, of just wanting to play. To sing, to dance, to dream, to act to write, to be.
Dave makes a point, that if you’re not doing what makes you happy, then try to take a few moments from your day and just do it.
I’m going to spend my time this way.